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Florida Landscape Architects
CAN'T BUY ME LOVE
Landscape Architecture is not necessarily man made. No matter how extravagant your budget is, there are plant entities that money just can't buy. They lend an air of comforting permanence to landscapes and gardens. These include...
lichen gnarled wood spanish moss resurrection fern |
BASKET CASE
If it is really about athletics, then surely you don't mind the excercise by rolling the blasted thing away from view when not in use, right? Seriously, how would you feel about your children leaving a huge toy in the driveway every day? Especially if they only play with it thrice a year. We know, women will never understand that some of us refuse to become real men and want to cram our little lives full of toys and gadgets, but think of your poor wife, who is dissapointed daily that she married a child, not a man. Personally, I would love to have a rollercoaster in my yard, but don't require a spouse to tell me how stupid that idea is. I have designed spaces for roller coasters in my landscape architecture career, my rear yard is not one of such. Sure, a woman has her own recreational activities. She enjoys getting her hair and nails done, but we guarantee she is never going to set up a pretend, plastic salon in the driveway. If shooting hoops is an important part of your recreational life, then grab the Chicago Bull by the horn and allow us, as Landscape Architects, to design a court that would make people of all genders and maturity levels envious. So, what's up, player? Let's get that hoops landscape architecture on. In short, please grow up and get rid of it. You'll make your wife, and perhaps some neighboring homeowners who actually care about your street's appearance, extremely happy. We promise you, you won't miss your obnoxious monstrosity, yet great job on your first attempt at landscape architecture. CONCEPT FOR SPOUSE APPROVED BASKETBALL COURT |
WROUGHT NOT
There are two major travesties with wrought iron committed by American architects. One is the non-existant balcony, only consisting of a iron railing. This can't even be described as 'faux', it only claims that the builder wanted a balcony, but wasn't financially willing or able to provide one. The biggest offense is the use of the nameless, shameless, non-purpose 'curly-cue'. In all our travels to Europe, we have never spotted this metal prank. Once these black curls are installed anywhere on a building, they resemble nothing more than, if we may be frank, hair from certain body parts. |
irreverant rants
from the staff at
LAND ART
while the boss
wasn't looking
ENTRY LEVEL ENTRY
Generous square footage and luxury amenities in homes are perceived as indicators of 'Quality of Life'. But what kind of quality are we living if we enter our lovely home from our car, into our odiferous garage, past all the stored junk, through our messy utility room, then finally reach our comforting destination, but only after we walk by the kitchen trashcan. Welcome Home. Is your beautiful front entrance only reserved for arriving by taxi, or built solely for the enjoyment of the delivery person? Yes, anyone can have a street elevation uebergrandfaux entrance; dime a dozen. But where is your entrance to this place you call home? Mabye it's time to get your landscape architecture on? May we suggest a detached garage? Two buildings on a property always appears more estate like than one massive lump. A million things could be created with that modest space linking your commute and your home. A few feet could bear fragrant flowers or a trickle of water to welcome you and your soul. And if you look anything like us, no matter what the temperature, a few seconds walking in the fresh air won't do any harm. There was a reason garages were seperate from homes during the first part of the 20th century. Cars are by default, well, dirty. Come home clean. LIFT THAT VEIL
Pool screens posess the all the attactive ambience of a tarp draped across a hurricane-damaged structure. Speaking of storms, take a guess how well pool screens resist high winds and guess how much that monstrosity adds to your insurance premiums, you will keep paying for it over and over again. You probably will guess right. Pool screens always appear as temporary structures, because in fact, they are. If bugs and other pests are a concern, pools already have a built-in insect repellant system; the steady evaporation of chlorine attracts no living thing. But they do attract animals with a spark of intelligence, such as squirrels and raccoons, ever so common in the South, and will find screening a mere challenge and are more than happy to claw and chew holes in screens, just to explore what's inside. Only the owner can decide about paying the high price of ugliness to keep debris from their pool area. Often, screening is damaged by the very things it is meant to protect the pool from; tannin from leaves weaken and stain screen material and minor twigs tear holes. Please ask other pool owners, both with and without pools screens about the practicality. Be assured that the majority will claim it's a lot more trouble removing debris on top of their screen, than from the pool itself. Today's swimming pools are designed with skimmers or troughs to catch debris that finds its way to the water surface. Modern cleaning and flitration systems are much more efficient than those available to our parents. Obviously, we don't recommend pool screen enclosures. But of course we will design a great looking screening structure, just for the challenge. Yet all our clients who have heeded our suggestion to remove their screen have relished the transition from virtual imprisonment of the 'bird cage effect' to total freedom, gaining a quality outdoor living space in the process. Be free.
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